I had a slight break down this week.
This already sounds like it'll be a packed post like last week doesn't it? Probably not - my post next week will probably the longest and biggest post because it's my last one - but I do have a few things to talk about. So let's begin.
After my last post I had 5 days of work and then a day off on the 25th. Two of my roomies also had the day off, one of them because it's her last day of work. My other roomie, who will also be ending work next week wanted to go to City Hall to tell them she was moving out, etc. etc. lots of legal procedures that one must do in Japan when they move. Which meant we weren't going to do anything. Perfect - I decided to pick this day to write a letter to my friend and mail it.
So, I go eat lunch. Come back, write my letter and just as I'm about finished roomie says she is going back to the hotel to return her stuff, say her goodbyes, and other roomie decides to join. The post office is in the opposite direction so I decline and say I'll just walk to the post office myself, I don't need a ride. Just before I leave, unfriendly-roomie, who also has a day off and has been ridiculous loud and annoying the entire time watching baseball (she cheers and talks all the time) has apparently invited a guy over. I shrug, whatever, and head out to the post office expecting my first two roomies to be back by the time I get home.
They're not and unfriendly-roomie + friend are watching anime together and being really loud, talking, laughing - like.. I can't even HEAR the show they're watching above their commentary. Needless to say I'm feeling a bit abandoned again because once again, my roomies have gone off to do something and left me behind.
Unfriendly-roomie goes to dinner. Now the thing is, being completely alone I felt fine. I was happy, content. She doesn't come back for a while so I thought she'd be out all night... but then she comes back, and not even 5 minutes later her friend returns too. I tolerate them for another 30-40min and then I leave. When I was alone I felt fine, but suddenly having one of my roomies being loud with a friend made me feeling actually lonely. I had nowhere to actually go though since by then it was 9PM and very dark (Okinawa doesn't have a lot of street lights).
At first I planned to walk to the only bar in the nearby area (would've taken a good 1.5hr there and back - great time killer) but I decided against it because it was really way too dark. Instead I decided to walk to the oceanfront where there is a stone walkway and just sat there. In the dark. Alone in my thoughts.
It was a bit carthatic in a way because... I literally just sat there talking to myself. Out loud. About how I felt at that moment. How lonely I was, how guilty I still felt about certain things, how much I disliked myself. And I just sat there for an hour, talking out loud to myself. I didn't leave until I actually felt like I was ready, and when I returned home the extra friend was gone.
It was only later that I learned that unfriendly roomie and said guy-friend were sleeping with each other. I have no idea if they actually did when I left, and I'd rather not think about it.. but... ew. Ugh. They do not make an attractive couple, let's just say that.
Anyway, after I take a shower and am still feeling a bit miserable, I hear a knock on the door and open it to find two friends of my roomies saying they're a "bit early" and everyone else is "coming later". Apparently we're having a takoyaki party in our room that night! And the part was fun. There were a few other people that came whom I had never met before, and one of them I actually ended up having a very good conversation with (she is Japanese). I'm so glad I had that release by the ocean before this because if not, I think I would've been very antisocial and upset.
Instead I made a new friend, had some tasty takoyaki and overall had a pretty good conclusion after what I thought would be a shitty night.
So that's that.
Tomorrow I have a day off as well and I'm going scuba diving!! So yeah, next post I'll probably have a lot to talk about. I'll probably need to divide it up and write it in bullet points or else it will just be too long in proper writing. We'll see what I do when it comes down to it though.
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